I gotta work on this whole self control thing

So, I'm learning a few things about myself.  But the most important one would be that I apparently have like NO self control.  I mean, I have a lil...but it ain't much.

So, as you all know...or some of you know...I had a stroke back in November 2011.  So, I left the hospital with this whole *Its Time For Change!!* attitude.  Man..lifestyle change was in FULL effect.  For about a week.

I mean, I'm saying...I TRIED!!!  I downloaded an app that allowed me to enter my height, weight (okay...so I wasn't COMPLETELY honest in that entry), age, etc and it would give me a daily calorie goal and track all of my food intake, exercise, etc.  And for a week...man I was ON IT.  I learned quickly that I undereat for the most part, and its been hindering me.  I need to be eating 5 small meals instead of eating this big breakfast and then not eating the rest of the day.  But I just have no appetite for food the rest of the day.  I'm gonna work on it though.

Soooooo...then I said as a Muslim, I am going to start praying more often and making sure to stay away from ALL pork, because I haven't been doing very well in either.  Ummm....so yeah....I'm sorta still working on that whole piece.

Which leads me to this whole bbq craze I've been on recently.  Have no idea why, but I've been craving bbq sandwiches.  I'll stop by Big T's on the way home from work and buy myself a little sandwich for dinner.  Butttttttttttttttt...I have a secret confession to make.  One of my coworkers went out for lunch and brought me back a bbq sandwich from.....*hanging head* Maurices.  And I ate it *hanging head further*  And it was good *drops head to the floor*.  Now...for those outside of SC who are unaware; "OUR" community doesn't eat at Maurices.  We are not exactly welcome there...so as an entire community...we stay away.  Yeah...I know...I have disgraced the entire community.  But dammit...that cue was callin me man!!!!  I'm gon' do better though.  I promise.  No....seriously...I will.  I'm sorry!!!!!!!!!!

Then I said I was gonna stay celibate.  No.....seriously, lol.  I will.  Soon.  Not REAL soon.  But soon

Oh...and I joined a gym!  And I go.  Sometimes.  I even work out and have fun doing it.  Until I get distracted and then I start staring at the machines and head back home.  And eat.  I'm sorry...working out makes me hungry!!

And I swore I was gonna diet...and then Aaron gifted me with like a 10 lb bag of Jelly Belly Jelly Beans :|  And I did still diet.  But I also ate those damn Jelly Belly's.  Just in smaller handfuls.  It took me a minute to finish the bag too.  Way longer than the day it would have taken me in the past.

*oooooh...had to stop typing for a minute...my brother J made me breakfast in bed...mmmhmmmm...Now I'm back*

So anyway... yeah, about that whole self control thing.  Ughhhh....I'll continue once I feel less full.

*Exhale*

ooooooooh, I got my baby back!!!! No more viruses, no more janky keyboard. So after a few months away, I am BACK bitches!!!!

This will be random, but dammit...so am I and Ive got a MULTITUDE of shyt on my brain

Our President Obama singing Al Green at the Apollo...I dunno about the rest of you, but that shyt was SOOOOOOOO freakin sexy to me!!!! Oh...Raky woulda got da birthday bidness that night at home.

I need to create a new FILF list...I see some guys I need to make my next Ex

Stop confusing my single status with *Will settle for any old thing* Noooooooo...THAT is why I am single...because I WON'T settle. I don't have list of shyt a man must have or do...but I damn sure have a list of shyt he better not think about having or doing.

I forgot my next thought...my mind went back to the FILF's.

I'm getting REALLY tired of bitchassness and straight rachetness in "men". That shyt is so not attractive. Its ugly in a woman, but in a man it is just straight ridiculous.

I need to come up with a couple of blogs I think, because otherwise, this one will be 20 pages long and filled to capacity with completely random thoughts that make no sense.

I am soooooo looking forward to my first trip to Baltimore in years....I truly need to reconnect with Dawn and Julius and friends who I've talked about seeing for years and still haven't. A few folks have made me reconsider whether I even have any interest in seeing them though.

Hmm.....back to the FILF's


I need a new *He could get it* list....