A few weeks ago, I was asked a question on Ask.FM. I don't remember the exact wording, but to paraphrase "we used to spend time together and now we don't..what happened?" Since I didn't know who asked me, it was hard to answer honestly. So I gave this vague kind of "I've changed". And although that's true..it's not the complete story.
I truly believe that unless you are stuck in some sort of time warp...all of are in a state on constant change. That being said..the Lisa that you knew 10 years ago, 5 years ago, 2 years ago, 2 months ago...she no longer exists. People are in your life for a season, a reason and a moment. I may have absolutely adored the ground you walked on 5 years ago...but if I have somehow determined that ultimately..you are not good for or to my life or spirit...then you needed to be eliminated.
I admit, there are some people who I keep in my life, but that is because I know that they are in my life for a REASON. Whether it is teach me, to somehow enhance my spirit or because selfishly I simply need them. These are people that will always be in my life, in my spirit, in my heart and in my thoughts. They have shown me that they "are down for me", that they innately care about what happens to LISA and I them.
Those who were in my life for a SEASON. Maybe we dated, maybe we were friends, maybe we shared some experiences. At some point, I determined that you were not productive to the place I am ultimately trying to be emotionally, spiritually, mentally or physically. It may not have occurred to me in that time..but at some point..it did. That Lisa you knew..that you experienced...she longer exists anyway. Stop trying to recapture a moment that we shared in the past. As the saying goes...that ship has sailed. There can many reasons that I shut people off. But the main reasons are usually one of the following: You have proved to me that you do not have my best interests at heart, You have shown to me that your interest in me is primarily a sexual interest, I have grown bored of your "shtick", I realize that I am simply an option in your life and not a priority. Don't try to change my mind, or recapture a season..it won't happen. I am one of those people who when they close a door....it remains closed. I can be polite to you, hang out with you...and hopefully in that time, you will see that I am a changed woman. If not..perhaps it is because you really are stuck in a place where you choose to remain. Just know that I cannot join you there.
Those who were in my life for a MOMENT. Simply put...its a wrap. You were a hiccup in my life. Maybe our moment lasted a day...a few weeks, a year. Either way, in my mind and spirit..I have deleted you completely. In my life's storybook...I will not even write about you. This is because I have determined you to be a complete waste of my life's time. Maybe you did something that I perceived as disrespectful to me or someone that I love, maybe I just have realized that you contribute nothing to my life, yet leech from my heart, spirit, finances, or body, Maybe what you do contribute is a waste of time, Maybe I know you are stuck in a holding pattern that you will never leave from, etc. There are many many reasons. But at the end of the day...our moment has passed us.
So...look within. What group do you think you fall in? Analyze self. I do it constantly. Before I look at others and expect them to fix their shyt...I understand that I have to be able to do it myself. And I have a lot of shyt to fix. I have fixed a lot of it. But so much more remains.
Ask yourself...are YOU a SEASON, a REASON or a MOMENT to the people around you?
Monday, August 5, 2013
Friday, August 2, 2013
Totally Random Information
Yup..thats exactly what this is gonna be, because I'm bored and because I just finished a list of absolutely random information that Aaron posted. And since I don't have a single independant thought, his idea seemed good enough for me. So in no apparent order...the following is a probably long list of random information that you may or may not already know and may or may not give a shit about. BUT...it will occupy my brain and energy for at least 20 minutes of bored time :D
1. I truly despise fleas, as you have probably noticed by my many rants and posts about killing them. They make me itch and worse yet..they give me the heebie jeebies.
2. The first thing I did when I got paid this week was go on Amazon and order my birthday gift to myself. A 4lb container of Jelly Belly Jelly Beans.
3. I really REALLY dislike for someone to repeatedly text or call me asking when I will have time for them. MAJOR turnoff
4. I know poeple think I'm mean to guys..and I probably am. But my BS tolerance is pretty low
5. My tolerance for neediness and redundancy is just as low.
6. Theres absolutely jack shit on tv right now.
7. I just sent a text and lied to someone about not being home, just because I don't want company tonight
8. That was the second person I told that lie to in the last 20 minutes.
9. As mean as I am, I'm quite sensitive to people's feelings.
10. And I'm very non confrontational if I can help it
11. I dunno why I am so addicted to Spike TV's Gangland. I think I was a thug in a past life or something
12. I'll refuse to eat certain foods (usually fruits) based simply on their texture (bananas, strawberries, peaches, kiwi, etc) Love the FLAVOR of them..but the texture freaks me out
13. If I read this list, I sure come across as picky huh?
14. Jelly Bellies are not my only candy addiction....I love spice drops, twizzlers, Charleston Chews (all 3 flavors), Swedish Fish, Mike N Ikes and Hot Tamales, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, and Symphony Bars with toffee. Oh...and Chunky Bars.
15. Now I have a taste for chunky bars
16. I was miserable the last month because I had some overdue fines at the library and couldn't check out any books. That was the second thing I paid yesterday. I will be at the library tomorrow!
17. Someone asked me on ask.fm when I am gonna update my FILF list for 2013.
18. I have absolutely NO desire to ever ride a motorcycle
19. Its always annoyed me that my wrists are too big to wear bangles. I love bangles. I always wanted about 20 of those itty bitty skinny bangles.
20. I haven't worn heels in like a month (GASP!!!)
21. Every night this week, I have come home and gone straight to bed. I don't go to sleep, but I get on my bed and read, watch movies, listen to music, etc. Simply because its the one damn spot int he house that the fleas haven't gotten to.
22. I refuse to allow anyone in the house until after we have COMPLETELY flea bombed the entire house (we are doing it tomorrow) I would feel horrible if someone got bitten in my house.
23. I'm flea bombing my car overnight tonight
24. I just begged Aja to get me a Chunky bar on her way home later
25. I really wanna steal Aja's tattoo idea and get those butterflies on my thigh
26. I just completely lost my train of thought
27. I........yeah....it's still lost.
The End
1. I truly despise fleas, as you have probably noticed by my many rants and posts about killing them. They make me itch and worse yet..they give me the heebie jeebies.
2. The first thing I did when I got paid this week was go on Amazon and order my birthday gift to myself. A 4lb container of Jelly Belly Jelly Beans.
3. I really REALLY dislike for someone to repeatedly text or call me asking when I will have time for them. MAJOR turnoff
4. I know poeple think I'm mean to guys..and I probably am. But my BS tolerance is pretty low
5. My tolerance for neediness and redundancy is just as low.
6. Theres absolutely jack shit on tv right now.
7. I just sent a text and lied to someone about not being home, just because I don't want company tonight
8. That was the second person I told that lie to in the last 20 minutes.
9. As mean as I am, I'm quite sensitive to people's feelings.
10. And I'm very non confrontational if I can help it
11. I dunno why I am so addicted to Spike TV's Gangland. I think I was a thug in a past life or something
12. I'll refuse to eat certain foods (usually fruits) based simply on their texture (bananas, strawberries, peaches, kiwi, etc) Love the FLAVOR of them..but the texture freaks me out
13. If I read this list, I sure come across as picky huh?
14. Jelly Bellies are not my only candy addiction....I love spice drops, twizzlers, Charleston Chews (all 3 flavors), Swedish Fish, Mike N Ikes and Hot Tamales, Reeses Peanut Butter Cups, and Symphony Bars with toffee. Oh...and Chunky Bars.
15. Now I have a taste for chunky bars
16. I was miserable the last month because I had some overdue fines at the library and couldn't check out any books. That was the second thing I paid yesterday. I will be at the library tomorrow!
17. Someone asked me on ask.fm when I am gonna update my FILF list for 2013.
18. I have absolutely NO desire to ever ride a motorcycle
19. Its always annoyed me that my wrists are too big to wear bangles. I love bangles. I always wanted about 20 of those itty bitty skinny bangles.
20. I haven't worn heels in like a month (GASP!!!)
21. Every night this week, I have come home and gone straight to bed. I don't go to sleep, but I get on my bed and read, watch movies, listen to music, etc. Simply because its the one damn spot int he house that the fleas haven't gotten to.
22. I refuse to allow anyone in the house until after we have COMPLETELY flea bombed the entire house (we are doing it tomorrow) I would feel horrible if someone got bitten in my house.
23. I'm flea bombing my car overnight tonight
24. I just begged Aja to get me a Chunky bar on her way home later
25. I really wanna steal Aja's tattoo idea and get those butterflies on my thigh
26. I just completely lost my train of thought
27. I........yeah....it's still lost.
The End
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