Because I sure got a lot to talk about. This may be my first 5 chapter blog. Or maybe not. Ya'll know I get bored after about 10 minutes of typing. ADHD like a mutha. Wait...this lil frikkin gnat keeps flying past my face and he is really annoying the shyt outta me...and I can't catch him...gahhh
Okay...what shall be my first topic? Oh yes...because this has been TRULY bothering my spirit.
Odoriferous Men (and women) That means STANKY ASSES. I'm wondering when this became acceptable, because in the last couple of weeks, I have stepped by some truly STANK ass men. I mean..not that *oooh, I was running ball at the gym and got a lil sweaty* kinda funk...but that *I ain't touched a washcloth to my ass nor a toothbrush to my teeth is 7-8 weeks* kinda funk. Running ball funk is okay...you jump in the shower and POOF! It's gone. The funk that permeates outta your pores...like a mixture of alcohol, weed, pork rinds and ass...that is NOT okay fellas!!!
Ole boy stopped to talk to me a few days ago...no lie...this muhpuffas breath was so freakin hot...I swear fo Jiminy Cricket, he relaxed my damn new growth! I changed his name in my phone book to just say *TBC No-Lye* And by the way...if he ain't washing his ass and brushing his teeth..you can assume he is not washing his man parts. Just a word of advice.
Next up...clingy ass muhpuffas who start simpering because you are taking some ME time. Nuf said....take off them pink panties and man the eff up. That shyt is NOT attractive in a man or a woman.
Fellas who think is cute to approach a woman with *Hey Sexy*, *Hey Thickness*, *Wassup Big Red*, etc. Really dude? No...REALLY?
People proudly using the freakin EBT to pay at a restaurant. WTF?? When did that shyt become cute? I'm not judging the fact that you're getting it. I'm just saying...whipping that shyt out at a restaurant like it is a freakin Platinum American Express is NOT da business.
Fellas (and ladies....don't want ya'll to think I'm singling men out...but if the jockstrap fits....eh) who have no car and apparently way too much time on their hands...who wanna call, text, send a damn homing pigeon out...to ask when you are coming to see them or when ya'll can go out. when your ass has a car to meet me somewhere man! Don't get me wrong..not everyone drives or can afford a car...but that doesn't mean you automatically have the right to a personal driver! No...stop it! You better set up a meeting spot and jump your ass on a bus! And why is it that people with no cars wanna be the first ones to say *Damn that..I don't ride buses* ? Well muhpuffa..you ain't gotta ride a bus, but you better get to beating some damn feet then.
Okay...there is sooooooo much more, but if I add it...I will get about 1000 texts, fb messages, calls..all asking...*was that about me?* Umm...booboo...if it hit close enough to home for you to think it was about you....guess what..it most likely IS.
I need to start blogging more often, so start hitting me up with some topic ideas. I got a little while before I go out tonight, so I might do another one to make up for lost time. Til then....SMOOCHES!!!!
